Really like these new jeans


protip: refer to all your mistakes as “artistic choices”

(via dinobowties)

I went in to apply for a sub position at a high school and the office lady insisted that I was a student. Bye

  • 15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
  • me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance

What do you do when you can’t catch a break? Laugh and keep on going.

Most people think a bad ass is someone who’s mean, rude, first to throw the punch. Someone who is ruthless and carefree. But that’s easy.

Being kind and trying to defuse a bad situation without losing your temper is hard. In my opinion, if you can walk away from a heated argument without saying anything hateful, YOU are a badass. If you can kill someone with kindness and not crack you, my friend, are the true badass.

(Source: showstudio, via alyssaemilie)


don’t stare at the moon too long or else you’ll remember that nothing in this stupid fucking world makes sense

(via brightlimelight)


Dear lesbians.
I am not a lesbian.
I am a man.
Do not leave in my ask box “I don’t like guys but you’re s0000 hot”
Do not reiterate that you’re a lesbian like I’m some exception to your “rules”
I have a vagina.
I’m still a man.

(via losingface)